


Laboratory of Love

by LissaMU



Series: Laboratory of Love [1]
Category: Pride and Prejudice (1995), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Edinburgh, English Elizabeth, F/M, Scientist Darcy, Scottish Darcy, scientist Elizabeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-02-26 17:09:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissaMU/pseuds/LissaMU
Summary: Dr Elizabeth Bennet has finished her PhD in the laboratory of Dr William Darcy at the University of Edinburgh and is on her way to her first post-doc across the city. Now that she and her gorgeous boss are colleagues instead of lecturer and student, the real chemistry can begin...





	1. Chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for a challenge on Firthness (I don't even remember what the challenge was about!), and became a little series. Some freedom has been taken with details, particularly as it comes to Scottish marriage regulations, but it's all for a good cause ;) You'll also find, I hope, a number of little Easter eggs from some of Colin Firth's other films; see if you can spot them all!

Dr Elizabeth Bennet wandered around the lab, running her fingers over the familiar surfaces and smiling to herself. She had spent over three years here, working in Dr William Darcy's group at the University of Edinburgh. For several months she had been in the lab only sporadically while writing up her Ph.D. thesis, and today she had finally received her degree. In a few days she would be starting her first post-doctoral research position on the other side of Edinburgh at Heriot-Watt University, toting a hefty fellowship and more knowledge of biochemistry than anyone should have. She was hired to help a new lecturer establish his lab and was looking forward to the challenge.

At the same time, she was dreading leaving this lab. It had been her home for those three years, and she had learned so much. With tears welling up in her eyes, she picked up the little stuffed highland cow that 'lived' in the lab. Dr Darcy had given Hamish to her when she had passed her first-year _viva_ , knowing how much she loved 'heelan coos'. Dr Darcy… yes, he was the real reason that she was sorry to leave. Elizabeth pulled herself up onto her former bench and allowed herself to reminisce.

She had come to William Darcy's lab knowing little about him as a person, but plenty as a scientist. He was only thirty-two, seven years her senior but young for a lecturer, and renowned for his brilliance as a biochemist. As a Ph.D. student at Cambridge, his work had been the bulk of a breakthrough paper in _Nature_ , and during his five years as a post-doc in the Wellcome Trust Biocentre at the University of Dundee, he had published in that prestigious journal twice more. Edinburgh had called him for an interview the same day he sent them his CV and offered him the lectureship on the spot. In two years, he had accumulated several million pounds in research grants and begun collaborations with labs at Cambridge, Harvard, and Imperial. Elizabeth had been thrilled when she was accepted into his prestigious lab. Her feelings changed when she actually met the man; though devastatingly handsome, he turned out to be an arrogant, cold man who knew just how good he was and flaunted it. In her first week, Elizabeth overheard him telling a post-doc that he had only accepted her because she had come so highly recommended from an old professor at Cambridge, but he wasn't sure how good she would turn out to be. Infuriated, she had worked her arse off for the next six months, working twelve-hour days, reading countless papers, and showing William that she was even better than her professor had predicted.

Her feelings for him had gone from resentment to repugnance when she met George Wickham, a post-doc in the lab next door. Wickham said that he had been promised a job in William's lab, but was then passed off to the new lecturer Wickham now worked for. He claimed that it was because William was 'personally' interested in the woman he hired instead and hoped to use his position to impose himself on her. She was shocked at this disgusting behaviour and had hated her boss even more. An explosive confrontation with William had followed, where she accused him of arrogance and unethical behaviour.

He took a holiday immediately afterwards, leaving her a letter of explanation revealing the true details of Wickham's hiring: William had never even interviewed the man, much less promised him a job, but he had hired Wickham's ex-girlfriend Georgiana. Wickham held a grudge against her and was trying to ruin her reputation with his accusations; as a result, Georgiana had left after only a few weeks. Elizabeth wasn't sure what to believe, but when Wickham was escorted out of the building by security, fired based on charges of computer pornography at work, sexual harassment, and theft (from William's lab, no less), she was forced to re-evaluate her opinions of both men. Upon William's return, she also noticed that he was making an effort to change his ways. Instead of insisting on being called Dr Darcy, he now insisted on being called William, and began treating everyone as equals and friends rather than minions. The atmosphere of the lab improved considerably, and over time, Elizabeth and William patched up their differences and became good friends.

Elizabeth let out a short, bitter laugh. Friends… she wanted much more than friendship from Dr Darcy. She had realised long ago that her feelings for him exceeded anything that was appropriate between a supervisor and student, but no rational objections could keep her from falling in love with him. She absentmindedly stroked Hamish the Heelan Coo as she thought about William's smile, his figure, his smell, and how much she would miss him.

'Do you think Hamish will like living on the other side of the city?'  Elizabeth looked up, startled. She smiled warmly at the sight of William leaning casually against the door, hands in his pockets, dimples showing. _God, he's dreamy._

'He'll get used to it, I suppose. But I think he'll miss everyone here,' she replied, her voice choking with emotion.

William stepped closer and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 'Everyone will miss him as well. He's been a valuable asset.'  Elizabeth forced a smile but could not hold it long before bursting into tears. William hesitated for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. 'Elizabeth, I'm sure everything will be wonderful for you. You're a brilliant scientist.'

'I'll miss you so much… all of you,' she corrected quickly.

William tilted her chin up with his finger and looked her in the eyes. 'It's not as if you're going to Japan, Lizzy. You'll still be in Edinburgh.'

'I know, but…' she took a deep breath, made a decision, and took a risk. 'I won't be able to see _you_ every day, and I don't know how I'll get by without you.'  Her words combined with the look in her eyes made it impossible for him to mistake her meaning.

He furrowed his brow and tentatively stroked her cheek. 'I… I don't really know what to say. You're a very special woman, Lizzy… I…'  William stopped short and stepped away, turning his back on her. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't.' 

Elizabeth's heart was beating wildly. Could he possibly have feelings for her, feelings that he was stifling because of his strong ethics? 'It's kind of funny to think that I won't be your student anymore. I guess I'll be more of a colleague now.' 

William turned around slowly, digesting her words. It was true, she was no longer his student…  He came close to her again. 'I'm proud to call you my colleague Elizabeth,' he said softly, extending his hand. Elizabeth reached out, but instead of shaking it, William raised her hand and placed on it a gentle kiss. Elizabeth could not control the sigh that escaped her lips or the look of desire that met him when he raised his eyes to hers. He took another step towards her, then another, until he stood between her legs nearly against the bench. Their relative heights put them eye to eye, and William slowly leaned in until she could feel his breath on her cheek. 'I've been fighting this for so long… this is so unethical…' he whispered.

Elizabeth held his face in her hands. 'Not anymore.'  William smiled broadly, and with the force of passion long-denied, gave Elizabeth a deep, slow kiss that took her breath away.

William slowly pulled away, catching his breath after the amazing moment he and Elizabeth had just shared. He rested his forehead against hers and whispered, 'I have wanted to do that... I've wanted _you_ for so long.' 

Elizabeth shivered at the delicious sound of his voice, his delightful brogue, his wonderful words. She placed her hand on his cheek and softly kissed him again. 'I want you more than anything, William. I've loved you for so long, I can barely remember what it was like to feel otherwise.'  Suddenly she froze as she realised what she was saying. Had she really just admitted that she loved him out loud?  She closed her eyes and waited apprehensively for his reply.

William could hardly believe his ears; did she love him as dearly as he loved her? 'Then I hope you won't think me daft when I say that I have loved you nearly from the moment you walked in the door.' 

Elizabeth smirked. 'That is not what I recall of your first impression, boss… er, I mean, William. Sorry, old habits die hard.' 

He tilted his head and looked at her contemplatively. 'No, no, I like it. It's strangely… arousing.'

'William I'm shocked!  You're quite pervy, aren't you?'

'Yes, I like to think so,' he leered as he leaned in for another kiss. Something about the way he said that stirred Elizabeth to the core, and she found herself pulling her skirt up so she could rather audaciously wrap her legs around his waist and draw him closer. She pulled away from his tempting lips and began to nibble on his earlobe.

'Just how pervy are you, Dr Darcy?' she whispered seductively.

William ran his hands gently on the outside of her thighs. 'More pervy than I could begin to show you here, Dr Bennet.'  She took his hand and moved it higher up her skirt.

'Are you quite sure about that?  We are the only ones here… it's a Saturday, no one else will be coming in…' 

He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was teasing, but he thought that perhaps it might be fun to call her bluff… at least for a little while. 'You're absolutely right, my dear. I have always had this fantasy about you where I walk in on you bending over your bench, and then I… well, it's easier if I show you. Hop down for a second and I'll reconstruct it in its entirety.'

'William!' she scolded, more than a little aroused by the suggestion. Fortunately, they were saved from their little game of chicken by the sound of whistling outside the laboratory door. William quickly stepped away and Elizabeth jumped off the bench and smoothed her skirt. A moment later, a janitor came in to collect the rubbish bags.

'Hello, Dr Darcy, Miss, oh excuse me, Dr Bennet. Working this weekend?'

'Hello, Mr Lucas,' Elizabeth replied. 'No, I'm just cleaning out my things. I start my new job soon.'

'Ah, well congratulations, Dr Bennet!  Good luck.'  Elizabeth thanked him, and soon after, he left.

'Well, perhaps not completely alone,' William joked.

'Perhaps another day,' she teased.

'Count on it, Elizabeth.'

William helped Elizabeth to finish packing the rest of her things and walked out with her, carrying the small box under one arm and casually draping the other over her shoulders.

'Do you need a ride back to your flat?  I have my car here.'  She accepted his offer, and they drove in contented silence, holding hands on the gearshift and occasionally smiling at each other. He made to pull up to the door, but when Elizabeth asked if he would like to come in for tea, he pulled to the next block and parked. They entered the flat with a sense of heightened anticipation, creating an aura of awkwardness between them. Elizabeth walked inside, but William hesitated a step in from the doorframe. Neither one could explain their sudden nervousness. Elizabeth finally broke through the suspended animation and took William's hand, pulling him inside. She closed the door behind him and gave him a soft kiss.

'What's wrong?' she whispered, tucking a curl behind his ear. He did not reply with words but leaned in and kissed her as if pleading for assurance and acceptance. She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him all the approval he required. His hands ran up and down her back, along her hips, then back to her hair, drawing her mouth even closer to his. When at last he broke away to bestow his kisses on her neck, Elizabeth spoke again.

'Stay with me,' she whispered. She spoke so softly that he was not even sure he heard her. He pulled back and looked at her questioningly. She simply nodded. A smile began to spread slowly on his face until it was covered with a look of heartfelt delight. As he leaned in to kiss her again, he stooped down to pick up her legs and cradled her in his arms. Not once removing his lips from hers, he carried her to the bedroom.

**********

_A few months later…_

Completely out of breath, William rolled onto his back and sighed. 'God, that was fantastic.'

Elizabeth cuddled against him, panting equally quickly. 'You always are, William.'  He smiled and embraced her more tightly. For five months now they had been seriously but discreetly dating, not hiding it from anyone, but not advertising it either. The grapevine had done its job well enough that many of their colleagues were aware of the relationship, but enough was known of their characters for no one to doubt that it had started after Elizabeth had left William's lab. They were always strictly professional in situations like a conference or scientific meeting. 'Are we doing anything this weekend?'

'I have to go in on Saturday to write up some paperwork and finish an experiment. Is that ok?'  
  
'Of course William, don't be silly. Perhaps I'll come with you and do some reading in your office.'

William's eyes suddenly got a devilish gleam in them that made Elizabeth wary. 'Did I tell you that William Lucas is on holiday this fortnight? They're only covering his shifts during the week.'  
  
'What does that mean?'

William began touching Elizabeth seductively, running kisses along her neck. 'It means that we have the entire floor to ourselves on Saturday.'

Elizabeth propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him incredulously. 'You can't be serious.'

He fondled her chest with a deceptively innocent face as he replied. 'Oh, I'm quite serious. I've been wanting to take you on that lab bench for as long as I can remember. Do you recall our first kiss? I wanted you that very day, and I dare say I would have succeeded if that damn janitor hadn't come round.'

Elizabeth feigned offense. 'You seem to think me a loose woman! Who says I would have accepted your advances? After all, it was the first day we were even together!'

William moved down and began kissing her stomach. 'You didn't seem terribly opposed to the notion later that evening, as I recall,' he teased. Elizabeth tried to be angry but could not keep her countenance. She knew quite well that she had not been able to resist jumping him when he had taken her home that day, and would probably have allowed him the same liberties in the lab that afternoon if they had not been interrupted.  
  
'It is entirely your fault for being far too irresistible. If you weren't so delicious, I could have let you leave that night.'  
  
'Then for my sake, I'm thankful for this sexy bum you're always raving about!'  
  
'For my sake too!'  
  
'So will you come on Saturday?' He placed soft kisses on her face to aid his request.  
  
'If you work your usual magic, several times,' she teased. 'Yes, I'll come. Should I wear anything in particular?' He flashed her a rakish grin.  
  
'Something easy to push up.'


	2. Geology

William fumbled a bit with his entry card and door key, blaming it on being nervous about their upcoming tryst. He did not seem as nervous, though, when he locked the door behind them and led Elizabeth to her old bench.  
  
'I haven't gotten a new student yet, so your area is still clear. I gave it a full sanitisation yesterday,' he whispered as he began nibbling on her neck. Elizabeth turned to capture his mouth, aroused by the thought that they would soon be making love on the table as she had so often fantasised. He picked her up and placed her on the bench of front of him, then pulled her to the edge. Her skirt bunched up, so he pushed it back only to realised that she had nothing on underneath. 'Forgot your knickers this morning, Lizzy?' he enquired, mesmerised by the sight before him.  
  
'Not at all. I knew exactly what I was doing.' She grabbed his hair and kissed him hungrily. 'You, Dr Darcy, need to catch up.' There was no need for foreplay; they were both ready, and they knew it. William's trousers dropped to his ankles, followed by his Hibernian boxer shorts that always made Elizabeth giggle. His entry was swift and hard, penetrating Elizabeth more deeply in this position. She leaned back and gripped the overhead cabinet for support as she bucked with William's rhythm. One of his hands helped guide her hips while the other wandered all over her body. She bit her lip to hold back a scream as the climax overtook her.  
  
'Elizabeth…' he moaned softly as he got closer to his own release. 'Elizabeth, I love you… Oh God… Elizabeth, marry me! I love you so much, please marry me!' he cried out, spent and breathless. He rested his sweat-drenched forehead against her breast and whispered again, 'Please Elizabeth, I can't live without you. Marry me.'   
  
Elizabeth was overcome with emotion; she had not expected a proposal this soon, and especially not in this situation. 'William, are you sure?' He pulled away to lean down and get something from his pocket. It was a diamond ring.  
  
'I meant to do this _before_ , but, well, the moment overtook me, and…'

Elizabeth hiccoughed as the tears began to flow freely. 'Oh William, it's beautiful. Of course I'll marry you. I love you so much!'

He wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could, and she reciprocated. 'You don't know how happy you've made me Lizzy. It's like all of my fantasies coming true.'  
  
'I hope you still have a _few_ fantasies left that I can satisfy darling. Things would get boring very quickly if they were all fulfilled.' He thought for a moment, then looked at her with a devastatingly naughty look in his eyes.  
  
'Actually love, come to think of it, there are one or two things you could do for me right now…'


	3. Engineering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since chapter 2 was so short, I thought it would be only fair to give you chapter 3 as well. ;)

Fresh from their laboratory exercises (and the wee bit of actual work they got done), William and Elizabeth returned to his flat for their traditional Saturday evening of 'films and fried stuff'. Elizabeth set out their plates and popped the disc in the DVD player while William checked his answer phone; she nearly dropped the food when she heard what sounded like a high-pitched, nasal female voice and William exclaiming, 'What the fuck?'  William never swore (outside the bedroom, anyway), so to hear that word from his lips meant that something very serious and unpleasant was afoot. She set down their dinner and rushed to his side in time to hear the end of the message.

_'… So anyway, I'm back in Edinburgh, and would love to see you again to pick up where we left off. Call me, darling… You can reach me at Charles's number. I adore you. Cheers!'_

The voice was even more irritating closer to the speaker, and Elizabeth now noted that the woman had the type of accent that denoted an American's poor attempt at being English. Looking over at William, she became concerned; his eyes were closed, his jaw was clenched, and if his fists had been balled any tighter, his fingertips would have come through the back of his hand. Rather than delete the offending message, however, he played it again.

 

'William! I'm sure you don't need reminding, but I know these silly answer phones can sound strange sometimes, so this is Caroline Bingley. I know it's been just forever since we last saw each other, but as you know, I was back in silly old America for the last couple years going to fashion school like I always said I would do, and I'm just terrible about corresponding! Don't think for a minute that I've forgotten you, though! I still get the shivers just thinking about that magnificent night in Glasgow ( _The largest city in Scotland does not rhyme with 'cow', Miss Whoever-You-Are_ , Elizabeth thought icily), and even though we couldn't be together for long before I had to leave, I want you to know that I still think on our relationship as the most satisfying of my life. I thought it would be just fabulous if we could get together again to, you know, relive old times. So anyway…' 

When the message ended, Elizabeth calmly stood with her arms crossed, waiting for William to explain this extremely suggestive message. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he said anything, and when he did speak, he did not exactly address her.

'That bitch!' he yelled, slamming a fist on the table. 'That money-grabbing, vicious little American whore!'  Elizabeth's eyes widened as he continued his tirade against this unknown woman, who was apparently also a trollop, a leech, a manipulating floozy, and a greedy, good-for-nothing slut. She had never heard so many curses come from his lips, and she would have been quite aroused by it if the object of his tirade had not been some woman who was implying having spent a passionate night in Glasgow with her fiancé.

'So who is this Caroline Bingley? Besides all those lovely things you've already called her of course.' 

William exhaled loudly with frustration and pulled Elizabeth close. 'Do you remember in your first year when we had that argument about Wickham, and I went on holiday for a while?'  She nodded. 'Well, I stayed with an American ex-pat friend of mine, Charles Bingley and his wife Jane, at their cottage on Loch Lomond. His sister Caroline was visiting, and we all went out for a night on the town in Glasgow. I was still down because of our fight, so I indulged in a wee dram of the good stuff; that turned into many wee drams, and I could barely stand two hours later. Caroline convinced Charles and Jane to stay out and volunteered to take me back to Balloch.

Her faked English accent was better at the time, so it wasn't difficult for my brain to decide that the brunette undressing me and putting me to bed was you. I made a pass, she eagerly accepted, and… well, anyway, the next morning I felt terrible, not just in my head and stomach, but in my conscience. This poor woman I hardly knew had gone to bed with me not knowing, or so I thought, that in my heart and mind I was with you. To make it up to her, I invited her out that day, and we spent the evening in a boat on the loch. I quickly discovered that she was most certainly not you and was interested in me only because of what her brother had told her of my career and social standing.

To ease my conscience, I continued to see her whilst I was in Balloch, but each moment I spent with her I realised how awful she was. She cared only about money and clothes and all the stupid, superficial things that women like her worship. I tolerated it, though, because I thought, end of holiday, end of Caroline. I couldn't wait to go back to work, even though I was afraid to face you again. But when I returned, there was a message on my answerphone from her, saying she had gotten my number from Charles and that she was coming to Edinburgh for a visit. Fortunately, though, she only had one week left in Britain before she had to return to America to start fashion school. With much effort, I was able to keep her out of my flat and out of my trousers, but at that point I still had only a mild disdain for her. It was on her last night here that she practically begged me to stay the night, saying that she wouldn't even mind if I called her Elizabeth again if that was what I wanted. It turns out that she knew quite well that I was out of my senses that first night; I cried out 'Elizabeth!' the entire time! I was disgusted by her duplicity and asked her to get out of my sight. It was an ugly scene, but it seemed that at least I was rid of Caroline forever… or so I thought.'  He shook his head dejectedly and threw himself on the couch. Elizabeth stood there frowning.

'Elizabeth, please say something,' he pleaded softly, knowing that she had every right to be furious, but hoping that after fury would come forgiveness.

'William, I thought we had been completely honest with each other about our romantic histories. You never mentioned Caroline Bingley.'

'Can you blame me? A drunken, mistaken identity one-night stand is not exactly something I'm proud of, particularly taking into account the woman in question. She meant nothing to me, and never shall. I didn't want you to think ill of me, especially after all we'd gone through.' 

Elizabeth began pacing; this was not a good sign. 'But you slept with her.'

'Yes.'

'You were drunk.'

'Yes.'

'Do you know if you were even protected?' 

He stared firmly at the ground. 'Er… yes, the… evidence of that was plain the next morning. And I got tested afterward, just in case.' 

Elizabeth blushed and looked away. 'You should have told me.'

'I know. But I was too ashamed to tell you that in the face of heartbreak I turned to drink and another woman; that isn't who I am, it isn't what I do, and I didn't want you to know that I could have been so stupid.'  He buried his face in his hands and shook his head in desperation. He could only wait and see what she would do now.

Elizabeth just stared at him for a long while. Her first thought was, _He betrayed me_ , but it wasn't long before her reason rejected the notion; they were not together at the time, and in fact she had quite cruelly accused him of some very serious misdeeds. Could she really blame him for having been with another woman then? No, the thing that really hurt was that he had concealed it from her. She had told him about her partners, even her single one-night stand, but he had kept this from her. She understood his motivations, but could not credit them any merit, for he should have known that their love was strong enough to overcome such a confession… wasn't it?

The cold fear in the pit of her stomach brought her back to her senses. Was some manipulating American trollop with a bad fake accent going to tear them apart? Absolutely not! With this perspective, Elizabeth sat next to William and gently stroked his back.

'Well, what are we going to do about this Caroline person then?'  Relief coursed through William's body like a river, and he wrapped Elizabeth into a hug of sheer neediness. When he opened his mouth to speak, he could only sigh. The last vestige of Elizabeth's resistance gave out, and she returned his embrace. 'I love you, William. I hope you can trust me to hear unpleasant things in the future; I can handle it. After all, I did work with that slimy little project student Billy Collins in all his arse-groping glory, didn't I?'  This did the trick; William smiled and calmed himself. 'You know, our pakoras are getting cold. Why don't we go eat, but forsake the movie in favour of some conversation? Is that all right?'  William acceded to her suggestion, and the evening was spent discussing the effect of Caroline Bingley on their lives.

**********

'Hi William, it's Caro. I guess you've been gone all weekend and haven't gotten my messages. I was hoping we could plan a night out, but I just realised that I still have your address in my diary, so I'll stop by tonight after you get off work! I hope you're free by seven. Toodles!'

William groaned. This was the fifth message from Caroline since the first one on Saturday. She had called several times throughout the weekend, and William and Elizabeth had decided to just ignore her in the hope that she would go away. Apparently, that wasn't going to happen.

'Let's not be here at seven, darling,' William begged Elizabeth, leaning his head on hers. 'I don't want to see that stupid-'

'No, William,' she interrupted before he could curse again. 'I think we just need to face her. She's obviously not going to leave you alone. I know just what we can do…'

At seven pm sharp, Caroline rang the bell of William's flat. She had dressed to the nines for this occasion, wearing her slinkiest dress and sexiest knickers. She was going to succeed with William tonight, she could just feel it. Then she realised that William hadn't answered the door. With a frown, she rang the bell again. Finally, the door was opened by a girl with wet, dishevelled curls, dressed only in what appeared to be a man's dress shirt and flip flops.

'Hi, can I help you?' the girl said in a rather out of breath voice.

'I'm not sure… I'm looking for William Darcy. But perhaps I have the wrong flat.'

'Oh no, this is the right place.'  Elizabeth eyed the intruder critically. She didn't seem at all like the type of woman William would like. She was tall and slim, but had sharp, angular features that made her appear shrewish and harsh. Her voice was even more nasal in person than on the answerphone, and of a most unpleasant pitch. Elizabeth did not feel at all threatened by this Caroline Bingley. 'Just a second.'  At that moment, a towel-clad William, still extremely wet from the shower, came careening down the corridor.

'There you are, you little sneak! How did you get away?' he teased Elizabeth, grabbing her at the waist and kissing her deeply. 'I want you back in that shower right now, lassie.'  Caroline's eyes were wide with horror, and Elizabeth had a hard time biting back a smile.

'Not yet, my sweet. You have a visitor.'  William looked over to the door, as if only just realising that Caroline was there.

'Oh, Caroline! Hello. You look well. Sorry, I completely forgot you were coming by. I didn't get your messages until today. Lizzy and I had a very _busy_ weekend, didn't we, darling?' he said suggestively, leaning into Elizabeth's neck to place several kisses on it. Elizabeth giggled and tried tickling him to get away from his grasp.

'Well, I hope I'm not interrupting anything,' Caroline replied with a snooty air.

'Actually, you are interrupting our shower,' Elizabeth said, poking William in the ribs teasingly. 'Though I was just getting out myself.' 

William stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her body possessively. 'The hell you were,' he retorted in a stage whisper. 'I expect you back in there as soon as we're alone again.'

'Ah, but we're not alone, darling. And you still haven't introduced me to your friend.'

'I'm sorry, love. Lizzy, this is Caroline Bingley, my friend Charles's sister. Caroline, this is Elizabeth Bennet, my fiancée.'  Caroline looked as if she were choking on something very nasty as soon as he said fiancée. It seemed that this evening's excursion would not be so successful after all.

'Oh, how very nice to meet you. Well, I don't want to keep you from your… activities. I just stopped in to say hello on my way out with some friends. It was lovely to see you again, William.' 

William extended his hand. 'And you, Caroline. Enjoy your stay in Scotland.'  She shook his hand half-heartedly, and with a weak smile, left the flat. She had no idea what to do, since she had planned to spend the evening with William. That little tart had ruined her plans and captured him, and she knew that she was powerless to stop it. William was a lost cause; time to move on to the next eligible bachelor on the list.

William closed the door behind her with a joyous finality. He picked Elizabeth up and swung her around. 'That was a brilliant plan, my love,' he conceded. 'The look on her face was priceless.'

'Yes, I am rather brilliant. I think we've rid ourselves of that witch for good. But I still can't believe you mistook her for me!' she pouted.

'Believe me darling, my optic nerve was completely befuddled by drink. All my visual cortex could discern was dark hair and combined with the English accent hitting my auditory cortex and the passion for you coming from my amygdala, my thalamus interpreted those signals as _Elizabeth_. I do apologise for my faulty neurochemistry.' 

Elizabeth strode over to him and reached under his towel. 'God, I love it when you talk science,' she moaned, teasing him to hardness with her hand. 'How does that feel to your somatosensory cortex, William?'

'Why don't we get back in that shower and I'll show you what my premotor cortex has planned in response, Lizzy?' 


	4. Physics

'William,' Elizabeth cooed in her beloved's ear one morning.

He rolled over to face her and wrapped his arms around her petite frame. 'Yes, my sweet?'

'We haven't set a date.' 

His groggy brain did not compute. 'For what?' 

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and flashed her ring. 'Remember when you asked me to marry you? It's been over a month, and we haven't even talked about a date.'

'Oh yes, of course. How's tomorrow? We could do like all romantic couples do and run off to Gretna Green.'

'William, we're already in Scotland, we don't need to run off there. Anyway, Gretna Green is cheesy, and I don't want to get married there, _and_ this isn't the nineteenth century.'

'All right, Las Vegas. It will take us a bit longer to get there, but I don't mind if you don't.'

'Very funny. Come on then, let's be serious. When do you want to get married? Shall we wait until the academic year is over?'

'Anytime is fine with me, my love. I just want to marry you. The details are inconsequential.' 

Elizabeth snorted. 'Not once my mother gets involved. I'd be surprised if we got away with anything less than a procession down the Royal Mile ending in a grand ceremony at St. Giles with the Archbishop of Canterbury officiating.'

'But darling, the Archbishop of Canterbury is Anglican, St. Giles is Presbyterian and we're godless heathens.'

'You think my mother cares for such trifles?' she asked in a voice imitating her mother's high-pitched whine. 'She knows I want to marry in Scotland, but she wants the Church of England involved, so we would obviously combine the best of both worlds. What we believe is inconsequential. Really, William, you are terribly dull to suggest anything else.'

'You are joking, aren't you?' he asked nervously.

'Perhaps a little, but my mother will want an extravagant affair. I am marrying into one of the best and wealthiest families in Scotland, after all. We must show off,' she replied sarcastically.

William began to look frantic. 'Can't we just run off? I beg you.' 

Elizabeth patted his hand. 'Not to worry, darling. I'll convince her to keep it small. But I will need to tell her when it is.'

'The sooner the better: less time for planning. How does the twenty-eighth of June sound? It's only a month away, the term will be over, and I can take my holiday for our honeymoon.'  Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears of happiness; she had not expected to be so overwhelmed by emotion at his merely setting a date but knowing exactly when she would be completely his filled her with a joy she had never felt.

'I love you William. It would be my pleasure to marry you on the twenty-eighth of June.' 

He kissed her hand. 'The pleasure is mine.'

**********

'What do you mean the twenty-eighth of June? That isn't nearly enough time to plan a wedding! Why, it's barely enough time to invite the guests!'

'Mother, we want a small, intimate wedding. We may just have it in a garden or something. Only our families and close friends will be invited. End of discussion.'

'Can we at least have a nice reception? I can see if Dundas Castle is available.'

'Are you serious? Dundas is far too expensive.'

'Balmoral Hotel?'

'No.'

'Well, does it have to be in Edinburgh? Dalhousie Castle is only an hour away, and it is just perfect for small weddings. The chapel is delightful.'

'Mother, have you been listening to me at all? Small, _inexpensive_ , low-key. We would be perfectly content to have the reception at William's flat if it came down to it.' 

Mrs Bennet looked appalled. 'You will do no such thing! You just leave the reception to me, Lizzy. I only need a price range.' 

Elizabeth sighed and gave in. 'All right. But no more than £1000 including everything. Is that clear?' 

Mrs Bennet waved her off. 'Yes, yes, I understand. Now let's talk about your dress…'

**********

It was the twenty-seventh of June, and William and Elizabeth were spending their last day together as an unmarried couple. In the end they chose to have the ceremony and reception at a cottage in Dumfriesshire owned by William's family, but Mrs Bennet had insisted that they have a rehearsal with the humanist celebrant the night before to satisfy her that he knew what he was doing. Mutterings about his future mother-in-law watching too many American wedding programmes were only made when William was out on his own picking up the marriage schedule from the registrar. After several run-throughs, in which Mrs Bennet practised crying, Mr Bennet practised not crying and the bride tried not to show her boredom, the party finally wrapped up; William and Elizabeth, who were staying at the cottage, retired to their room, while everyone else drove back to Dumfries for the night.

'Ugh!' Elizabeth complained, throwing herself on the bed. 'That was so tedious! I'm beginning to wish that we had run off.' 

William's ears perked up. 'There's still time,' he replied.

'You can't be serious! After all the trouble we've gone to in planning?'

'You mean that your mother has gone to in planning,' he corrected.

'True. But we can't just disappoint our guests. All our friends and family are coming, the band has already been hired for the reception, and all the food and drinks are here.'

'There can still be a reception… but we don't need to be there.'  She looked at him sceptically. 'No, really, this could work. We'll run off tonight and leave a note saying that we've eloped and for everyone to celebrate by having the reception without us.'  William was beginning to get excited now. Elizabeth just rolled her eyes.

'You've obviously had a long day William. Just come to bed. You'll feel calmer in the morning.'  William pouted, but crawled onto the bed with her, cuddling up behind her and nuzzling her neck.

'Cruel woman,' he muttered as his hand took possession of her breast. 'I'll show you what happens when you cross me.'  Elizabeth began to moan softly as his hands ran over her body, pulling off the nightgown she had just put on. The light touch of his fingertips on her thighs made her long for more.

'William,' she breathed, turning around and forcing him to lie on his back. He only had shorts on, and those were removed easily enough. William, however, was not content to lie back and let her do the work. He rolled her over easily and took charge of the situation.

'Tell me what you want, Elizabeth,' he growled, hovering just out of her reach. She reached for him, trying to pull him inside her.

'I want you. Please,' she gasped. He teased her by placing his tip against her.

'Say we can run off together, tonight. We can be in Gretna Green in half an hour.'

'But William,' she protested.

'Ah ah,' he cut her off. 'Say we'll leave tonight, or no Wee William for you!'  She giggled.

'There's nothing wee about that, William,' she said suggestively as she stroked 'Wee William'. He slapped her hand away and began pulling back. She grabbed his wrist. 'William!' she whined. 'Are you withholding sex unless I agree to elope?'

'Aye,' he replied, arms crossed across his chest. Her eyes swept across his body, lust overcoming her as she took in his naked form. It occurred to her just how persuasive William could be when sex was involved; not that she wouldn't have accepted his marriage proposal if it hadn't occurred mid-coitus, but he certainly had made it much more difficult for her to resist him.

'Oh, all right!' she said impulsively, pulling his body towards her. 'We'll elope!' 

William grinned impishly. 'Thank you love,' he responded, entering her at last.

As Elizabeth caught her breath afterwards, William began to dress. She admired him approvingly when a thought crossed her mind.

'William, we can't get married in Gretna Green. We don't have the paperwork for it.' 

William grinned. 'Actually, we do. I picked up the marriage schedule today. We can take it all with us to Gretna, and I'm sure that with ready cash they could fulfil our needs.'  Elizabeth shook her head, all protests gone; she was actually starting to get excited by the idea of eloping, even though Gretna Green was something of a cheesy locale. She reconciled herself to the idea by convincing herself that she would be just like a romantic heroine in all those silly novels, despite the fact that William didn't have the requisite long hair and open shirt billowing in the wind to reveal rippling muscles.

Once the bags were packed, William telephoned the registrar to inform him of their plans and attempt to get his permission to change the location of their wedding. Fortunately, the man was a friend of the family and laughingly agreed to speak to the registrar in Gretna to get the wedding through for the next day first thing in the morning. After also calling a hotel in Gretna to arrange for rooms for that night and the next, William wrote the note that would be left on the table for their guests to find.

_Dear friends and family,_

_We thank you for coming to our wedding. However, we decided that eloping would be far more fun; by the time you read this, we will probably be married. Please celebrate for us by enjoying the reception as planned. We hope to welcome all of you into our home upon our return from our honeymoon._

_Cheers,_

_William and Elizabeth Darcy_

With the kind of excitement that only comes from sneaking out and doing something naughty, they hopped in the car and began the thirty-minute drive to Gretna. Upon arrival into the town, they checked into their hotel, where, to Elizabeth's surprise, they had separate rooms.

'William, we haven't slept apart in months,' she protested, but he was adamant.

'It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Tonight, we sleep apart.'  With a shrug, Elizabeth gave her soon-to-be husband a chaste peck on the cheek and bid him goodnight.

The next morning, the couple arrived at the blacksmith's shop as soon as it was open. The assistant registrar welcomed them, having been prepared for their arrival by his boss the night before, and even produced an amended version of the marriage schedule with the change of celebrant. He informed them that the ceremony could last no longer than fifteen minutes, as the first scheduled couple would be arriving then, and as it was June, they were booked solid all day. The ceremony was simple but lovely, consisting mainly of the vows they had written for each other and exchange of the rings. For such a momentous occasion, it went by very quickly, and before they knew it, William and Elizabeth were husband and wife.

After accepting the hearty congratulations of the celebrant and the couple right after them, who had filled in as emergency witnesses, William and Elizabeth returned to the hotel. Before they got to the door, William swept her up in his arms and, humming Mendelssohn's Wedding March, carried her over the threshold. The staff in reception clapped and cheered as the newlyweds made their way up the stairs. At the landing by their rooms, William gently put her feet back on the ground.

'Shall I come to you in half an hour?' he whispered, confusing Elizabeth completely.

'What are you talking about? Why not just come in?'  William shook his head and tsk-tsked.

'We had an old-fashioned elopement, so we're going to have an old-fashioned wedding night. You get ready and I'll knock when I'm ready to claim you as my bride,' he replied with a naughty waggle of his eyebrows.

'I don't have to lie still under you and think of begetting heirs, do I?' she teased mischievously. His passionate kiss in response led her to believe that this would not be the case. When they separated, William bowed to her and retired to his own room.

_What am I going to do for half an hour?_ Elizabeth thought, having been prepared for a wild ripping off of wedding clothes after having spent the night apart. _Well, if this is what he wants…_ She filled up the tub with hot water and bubble bath, tied up her hair, and undressed, finally sinking into the bath with a contented sigh. _Perhaps this isn't such a bad idea after all._ When the water started getting cold, Elizabeth climbed out and sprinkled rose water on a few strategic places before putting on her long silk nightgown and robe. As the end of the half-hour approached, she took a seat at her vanity and brushed her hair while she waited. To her surprise, she found that she was actually nervous. _Wedding night jitters… I suppose they happen regardless of how many times you've made love to your new spouse_ , she told herself. When at last the knock came on the door that separated their rooms, she had to stop herself from jumping up to answer it.

'Come in,' she called demurely. William, wearing only the bottoms of a set of silk pyjamas, entered tentatively, also looking somewhat anxious. His eyes glowed with warmth as he looked Elizabeth over. He walked to her chair and kneeled beside it, planting a lingering kiss on her palm.

'You look lovely,' he murmured, stroking her cheek, 'Mrs Elizabeth Darcy. My sweet wife.' The new appellation was strange but wonderful to her ears, sending a shiver down her spine. 'I have a confession to make: I'm actually feeling a bit on edge. I know it sounds absurd, but it's like how I felt the first time we made love.' 

Elizabeth softly kissed his lips, relieved that she wasn't alone in her apprehension. 'I know what you mean. It is almost like that; it's our first time as husband and wife, after all.'  Elizabeth's words restored William's confidence, leading him to stand and lift her by the hand.

'Come here, love,' he entreated her, pulling her close and beginning a slow dance to no music. They swayed together to a waltz only they could hear. William began trailing tiny kisses along her face and neck, enticing her to wind her fingers in his hair and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. This romantic prelude threatened to drive both of them to distraction until William at last made a move towards the bed.

'With this ring I thee wed,' he whispered, bestowing a kiss on her ringed finger. 'With my body, I thee worship,' slipping off her robe and gently laying her down. 'I take thee, Elizabeth, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward…' Elizabeth's nightgown was slowly pushed up around her waist and finally over her head, 'To love and to cherish…'  She pushed his pyjamas off, revealing only his bare skin underneath. 'Till death do us part…'  With a gentle kiss, William entered her, slowly, reverently.

None of their previous encounters could have prepared Elizabeth for the wholly novel sensation of receiving her husband. She could not understand how the simple difference of a ring could make him seem an entirely new lover; but everything _was_ different, a whole other dimension added to their joining. It had never been so intense, so powerful, so complete. Her release was accompanied by tears.

'Elizabeth, what's wrong?' William asked, concerned, kissing away her tears.

'Nothing's wrong. That was just so… beautiful.'  He pressed his forehead against hers, inhaling her scent mingling with his.

'As are you Mrs Darcy. As are you.'


	5. Epilogue: Results, Discussion, and Conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely comments so far! I hope you enjoy this cheeky wee epilogue!

'Lizzyyyy!' Mrs Bennet's voice screeched in the main room of the cottage. 'I can't believe that girl is still asleep! She needs to get up and start preparing! Lizzy!' In a huff, she started up the stairs.

'Fanny, are you sure you should just go up there? You never know what they could be doing,' Mr Bennet teased, not entirely sure he wasn't speaking the truth.

'Oh nonsense, what could they be doing that I couldn't see?' Mr Bennet rolled his eyes and let his wife do as she pleased. He turned his attention to the room where the ceremony was to take place later that day; then he saw the envelope. 'Lizzy! Where is that girl?' he could hear Fanny calling out. Suddenly, Mr Bennet had a very good idea of what that envelope contained. He had just finished reading William's note when Mrs Bennet returned.

'Did you find Lizzy, my dear?' Mrs Bennet threw her arms in the air dramatically.

'Thomas, I just don't understand it! They're nowhere to be found! Do you think they went out for breakfast or something?' Mr Bennet threw her an amused glance and held out the note. As she perused it, her face grew redder and redder, until at last she collapsed onto a nearby chair and began fanning herself. 'What is the meaning of this? How could she do this to me? Oh Thomas, what are we going to do now?'

'First of all Fanny, this is _Lizzy's_ wedding, so I hardly see how this is an affront to you. As for what we're going to do… well, it looks like Lizzy and William want us to celebrate their elopement, and that is precisely what we'll do.' Mrs Bennet was too appalled to speak, and Mr Bennet took the opportunity to call the registrar, discovering that he knew all about the scheme. Satisfied that no real harm had been done, he did his best to calm his wife down. 'Now my dear, since Lizzy is not here, you'll have to play the hostess, and we can't have you hysterical when the guests arrive.'

If there was one thing Mrs Bennet took seriously, it was hosting; little held as much importance to her as the comfort of her guests. Mr Bennet's words snapped her back into reality, and she temporarily forgot the affront to herself in order to get things ready.

'I suppose you're right. If Lizzy insists on being rude, I must make up for it to her guests. Selfish girl! Well, we must go to it then.' A flurry of activity ensued, and when the guests arrived, Mrs Bennet welcomed them graciously while Mr Bennet explained the situation. Everyone took it in stride and looked forward to following Lizzy and William's request to enjoy the food, drinks, and music in celebration of their union. The band had just begun setting up when Mr Bennet had a most devious idea. After conferring with the Darcys, he clapped his hands loudly to make an announcement.

'Excuse me! Can I have everyone's attention please! The Darcys and I have a proposal for you…'

**********

'YEEEEES!!' Elizabeth cried out for the fourth time that day. Since returning from the ceremony, the new Mr and Mrs (Drs) Darcy had spent their non-traditional wedding 'night' strenuously researching the discovery that marital sex was stunningly different from pre-marital sex. As scientists, they knew that results cannot be trusted if they cannot be duplicated; as very good scientists, they decided to repeat the experiment twice more after that, just to be sure. It was conclusive: Mr and Mrs Darcy had _way_ better sex than William Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet, much to their infinite joy.

'I wonder how your mother reacted to our absence,' William mused once his heart rate had returned to normal.

'Why don't we go find out?' Elizabeth replied mischievously. 'Everyone is probably just arriving.'

'But we have this room for tonight, and I was hoping to make good use of it,' he whined.

'I'd say we've made good use of it already!' Elizabeth retorted.

'Is that a complaint?'

'Of course not darling… but I don't see why we need to stay here still. We've got the cottage, and besides, it might be fun to show up now and see how everybody reacts. Come on, I went along with what you wanted.'

'Yes, but I used much more persuasive methods than whining,' he astutely pointed out. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow suggestively. 'Oh no, turnabout is _not_ fair play Lizzy!' She ignored him and rose from the bed. Truth be told, William was ready to give in just watching her; she sauntered to the foot of the bed, looking at him with a predatory eye. When she climbed onto the bed and crawled like a tigress up his legs, he knew he was a lost man. By the time she wrapped her lips around 'Wee William', not-so-wee William was crying out his consent to her request… as soon as she was done with what she was doing, of course.

About half an hour later, William and Elizabeth checked out of their honeymoon suite, leaving a large tip for the poor chambermaid who would have to clean up after them. The short drive back from Gretna Green increased their anticipation of the reaction they expected. They pulled into the drive, giggling conspiratorially. Sneaking up to the door, they counted to three and threw the door open.

'Surprise!' they yelled… to an empty house. William checked his watch; the party should have been in full swing by now.

'What's going on?' Lizzy asked, hurt by what appeared to be a blatant disregard of their wishes that their guests enjoy the reception. 'Where is everybody?' She began poking around the rooms, half-expecting that everyone was hiding and just waiting to jump out to surprise them. Not that they knew they would be coming… 'How could they do this to us? We specifically asked them to stay here and celebrate!'

'Well love, we did elope the night before our wedding; perhaps they were upset,' William suggested calmly. As Elizabeth continued to search the room, ranting and raving, he noticed what looked to be the note he wrote sitting on the table. _Did they never see this?_ he wondered. When he picked it up, however, he realised that this was something else. Upon recognizing Mr Bennet's handwriting, a knowing grin crept onto his face.

_Dear Mr and Mrs (Drs) Darcy,_  
_Congratulations on your wedding. Needless to say, we were quite surprised with the discovery of your elopement. Poor Mrs Bennet quite nearly exploded. In the end, we decided to celebrate without you, as you asked; however, we found the cottage too small a venue for our carousing. I hope you don't mind, but we took all the food, guests, and entertainment back to Edinburgh to be enjoyed in the more spacious Darcy mansion (at which point, Lizzy, your mother says 'Congratulations on marrying so richly!'). Not to worry, we shall still thoroughly enjoy all the delights Mrs Bennet so meticulously planned for this occasion. Our best wishes to you both,_  
_Thomas Bennet, et al._

'What's that, William?' Elizabeth asked, suddenly at his side again. He handed her the note.

'Apparently turnabout _is_ fair play, darling.' She couldn't help laughing at her father's joke. 'I guess your father knew you wouldn't be able to stay away, you little attention-seeker, you.'

Elizabeth just rolled her eyes. 'Well, at least they're celebrating… and better yet, we have the whole cottage to ourselves…'

William picked Elizabeth up in his arms for the second time that day. 'In that case, Mrs Darcy, let's have our own little reception right now.'


End file.
